Halloween Movie Month: The House of the Devil

The House of the Devil (2009)
R
Netflix instant

The House of the Devil is a relatively simple story.  A college girl answers a babysitting add, but once she gets there, things are not exactly as they might seem.

After watching a few bad horror movies in a row, The House of the Devil was a refreshing change of pace.  The House of the Devil is set somewhere in the late 70s/early 80s, but unlike most current horror films that are set in the past, this one actually feels like it is from the past.  Even the timing, font, and color of the opening and closing credits are done in such a way that I feel like I'm actually watching a classic horror flick from the 80s.  The director (Ti West) is clearly paying homage to 70s/80s horror - and he is actually doing them justice!  West undoubtedly did his homework in film school.

One of the things I loved so much about this movie (and the thing that made it an incredibly horror movie) is the focus on tension, rather than startles and gore.  There is a very slow building tension throughout the movie and, to me, it works!  I have said in many of my previous reviews that part of what separates true horror from the rest is that true horror stays with you long after the movie.  The horror does not come from just a bunch of things jumping out at you from the shadows, but a deeper and much darker force that plays on real fears.  There might be things jumping out at you in a true horror movie, but it is the deeper tone that sets the fear, rather than just the startle.

That deeper fear primarily takes the shape of the fear of the unknown in The House of the Devil.  Having seen a lot of horror movies in the past, there are a plethora of little things that really set the tone.  The dialogue uses foreshadowing heavily.  The camera angles keep you from seeing too far from the characters.  Scenes that take place at night are almost pitch black outside of the immediate area.  There is very minimal use of "scary" music to let you know when to expect something.  There are a lot of subtle musical queues that raise the tension, but at times I did not realize how long the music had been building.  Even down to details like a lamp casting a shadow which looks like someone hanging, this movie is wrought with tension.

While I think that the tension and the attention to detail are part of what make The House of the Devil so amazing, they could also be the very reasons that some people might not enjoy it.  As I've said, this movie does justice to classic horror movies.  But, if someone has not seen many horror movies and does not know some of the tricks and techniques, it will not have the same impact.  Also, if this is a movie that you put on in the background and only somewhat pay attention to, it will not have nearly the same effect in regards to raising the tension.

Rating and Recommendation:  4/5.  This movie is definitely a must see!  If you are a fan of horror, the sense of suspense that builds throughout the film is almost palpable.  You know the Oscar Wilde quote "the suspense is terrible.  I hope it will last!"??  Well, I am going to modify it slightly to describe The House of the Devil - "the suspense is terrible, it's hard to sustain!!!...but in the most satisfying way possible."  Even if you disregard the horror aspect, I think that The House of the Devil is just an incredibly well done movie.  I feel as though West was clearly inspired by the likes of Kubrick and Carpenter, but without feeling like he was just sloppily rehashing their techniques.  The House of the Devil is only available on Netflix instant until 10/15, so be sure to watch it before it goes away!


Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



- The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: Scary or Die

Scary or Die (2012)
Netflix instant

This is an anthology film of five short stories that are loosely (very loosely) tied together.  The synopsis on IMDB and Netflix (about a man that gets bitten by a flesh-eating clown and then starts transforming into a clown himself) is only one of the five short stories.  While that story certainly wasn't terribly amazing, it was probably my favorite of the five.  I wish that they had just made the entire movie about the clown story.  The second and third stories were decent little short stories, but I think that the clown story could potentially have stood on its own if it had been more fully developed.

The reason that I think that the clown story could have stood on its own is not because of the creepy clown (which, when you do see the guy transformed into the clown, IS pretty creepy), but because of some of the other implications.  To me, the story was more about turning into the monster you fear, losing your family and loved ones, suffering for the ones you love, and being doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.

Rating/Recommendation:  2/5.  Pass.  While I think that the clown story had glimmers of being a decent story, and some of the other short stories were fine for what they were, the overall film just didn't work for me.  As I have mentioned in previous posts this month, what makes horror movies good is not the gore or the startles, but the implications and the underlying fears that so many people have.  Of course, there are also the horrorible movies that are enjoyable to watch just because they are so ridiculous (e.g. Sharknado).  Scary or Die is one of so many movies that falls short of both categories.  It wasn't profound enough to make you think or to really delve into the depths of the human psyche.  But, except for parts of the clown story, it also wasn't ridiculous enough to enjoy for the sheer idiocy of it all.


Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review in the last few days of Halloween Movie Month!



- The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: The Fly

The Fly (1958)
Netflix instant

A scientific experiment on teleportation goes horribly wrong when the scientist attempts to transport a human.  The Fly starts out with a murder using a piece of industrial machinery.  Even though it doesn't show it in detail, it showed a little more than I expected for a movie from 1958.  The man was allegedly murdered by his wife, but there is something that seems a bit off in how she describes what transpired at the factory.  Eventually, the wife says what really happened leading up to her husband's death.  At this point, almost the rest of the story takes place as a flashback.

Overall, I enjoyed The Fly.  However, I think that I would have enjoyed it more if I had been in the mood for a classic sci-fi movie, rather than a classic horror movie.  That being said, once the half-man/half-fly creature showed up, it had some pretty spooky parts.  Not only because of the horror of the creature, but more specifically because of the torment that the scientist is going through.  It deals with more than just a monster.  It deals with a suffering existence and existential (and actual) suicide.

My biggest complaint is that it too long to actually get to the fly creature.  Rather than having to get to the point where a flashback was used to tell the story, I think that the pacing would have been much better if it had just started where the flashback started.  There were a lot of great elements, but I think that too many of them were underutilized.

Rating/Recommendation:  3/5.  I saw Cronenberg's version many, many years ago.  I was unaware at the time that it was a remake of this film from 1958 by Kurt Neumann.  While it is technically a remake, there are some drastic differences from Neumann's version to Cronenberg's version.  I was pretty young when I first saw Cronenberg's version, so there were a lot of scenes that I had to either close my eyes for or leave the room for.  However, I still remember that it was pretty intense.  With that version in mind, this version was incredibly tame.  I think that going into this film with Cronenberg's version in mind probably affected my perception.  Rather than being able to watch it for it's classic sci-fi elements, I kept waiting for the fly to show up - and I ended up waiting much longer than I expected.  While it might not have lived up to my expectations, it was still enjoyable.  I recommend watching it, but maybe not for Halloween Movie Month.  If I do a classic sci-fi month, then The Fly might get a higher recommendation..


Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



- The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: Carrie

Carrie (2013)
Netflix instant

The 2013 Carrie remake follows pretty much the exact same plot line as the original - an awkward teen with an overly religious mother is tormented at school until she discovers that she has telekinetic powers.  Since the remake follows so closely to the original, and since I just watched the original a week ago, it is unavoidable that this review will be more of a comparison between the two.  As a result, most of my comments will be direct responses to what I liked (and didn't like) from the original.

One of my complaints with the original was that there was such a stark dichotomy between the excessive religiosity of Carrie's mother and the evil of Chris Hargensen.  In the original, there was no balance between evil and zealot.  While I understand the literary and thematic reasons for having those extremes, I still did not like how there was no middle ground.  In the 2013 version, Carrie herself is presented as that middle ground.  She still has a very strong sense of religiosity, but in the first interaction between Carrie and her mother, Carrie corrects her mother by telling her that what she (the mother) is saying is not from the Bible.  While I do like that there is a middle ground that is being presented, I actually don't think that it works very well for that middle ground to be Carrie.  In the original, Sissy Spacek play awkward, underdeveloped, and tormented so well - it makes sense that she would act the way she does as a result of being raised alone by her religious zealot mother.  In the 2013 version, Carrie starts out a little too confident.  She almost seems too "normal" to have been raised in such an environment.  Something else that helped to bring some balance was the portrayal of Carrie's mother having some psychological issues (several scenes of her cutting herself), rather than just being portrayed as overly religious.

As far as the evil of Chris, I actually think that the original portrayal showed more evil.  Sure, the remake has her cutting the throat of the pig to gather the blood for the infamous prom scene.  But, there seems to be hesitation.  She doesn't seem as confidently and immediately as malicious.  Although she did not actually touch the pig in the original, the sense of pleasure that she exhibited during the killing of the pig appeared to me to be much more immediate and intense.  In other words, even though she killed the pig, it didn't seem to me like she enjoyed it all that much.  Whereas in the original, even though she did not kill the pig, she seemed to enjoy it terribly.

One of my biggest complaints about the original is that it spent too much time with the side story of what the other girls were planning to do with Carrie, rather than on Carrie's actual story.  The 2013 version definitely showed a lot more character development of Carrie, as well as a lot more interaction between Carrie and her mother.  Even though I think that Carrie started out a little too normal, I am very glad that there was more of the movie actually showing her character development.

In the original, I felt as though much of the music was almost too descriptive.  In the remake, there was more of a unified theme running throughout the score.  However, there was nothing that really made it stand out.  So, although it was unified, it became more of just a forgettable background soundtrack.  Also, there was a bit too much foreshadowing.  This would have been fine if there had been a few more drastic differences between the original and the remake.  However, since the remake stuck so closely to the script of the original, it was less of foreshadowing and more of "you already know what's about to happen, but we are going to give a little nod to that."

I think that Chloe Grace Moretz is an amazing actor and I think that she definitely brought a lot of respect to the role, while also making the character her own.  However, Sissy Spacek's portrayal of a tormented teen is just so iconic - it's hard to top it!  In the original, Sissy Spacek's portrayal of Carrie at the end of the prom scene is so disturbingly creepy because it seems as though she has lost control and is almost comatose with her powers.  She stands completely still, eyes as wide as they can be, and simply looks at the objects to control them.  In the remake, the horror is a bit more visual.  Chloe Grace Moretz portrays Carrie as having much more control and intention with her powers.  She moves around more and is more interactive with her powers.  Rather than simply flipping Chris's car when she is about to be run over, Carrie actually seeks out Chris and her boyfriend.  A lot more deaths are actually shown, but that doesn't make it any less creepy.  It just plays more on the gruesomeness of death, rather than the psychological horror of it.  This is especially clear in the final scene.  One of the things that was so haunting to me, and one of the things that I loved so much about the original, was that it showed the after-effects of Sue losing her mind as a result of seeing so many of her friends die.  In the remake, she does not appear to have any lasting effects of witnessing such a trauma.

Rating/Recommendation:  3/5.  There are some things that I think the remake definitely improved upon.  However, there were a lot of decisions that I felt were missteps and that did not work as well as the original.  I still really enjoyed Carrie (2013) and I would definitely watch it again.  The remake had more development of Carrie and her mother, and there was more death and destruction in the prom scene.  But, the original was just so much creepier and had much more psychological horror at the end - especially in the way that Sissy Spacek played that terrified terror.  I think that the 2013 version is still enjoyable and is worth adding to your queue.  However, if I were to show Carrie to someone who had never seen it before, I would most definitely go with the original version.


Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



- The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: ParaNorman

ParaNorman (2012)
Netflix instant

ParaNorman is about a boy who can talk to ghosts and is the only hope of protecting his town from a centuries-old curse.

This is a pretty standard story for an animated kids movie - an awkward kid, who is tormented because he is misunderstood, must learn to embrace who he is while the rest of the town learns how to accept those who are different.  However, I don't know how appropriate it is for young children.  The movie starts with Norman watching a zombie movie and talking to his recently deceased grandmother.  His family's reaction is pretty harsh, basically saying "she's dead, move on."  The subjects of death, loss, loneliness, misunderstanding, judging others, fear, and mental stability are some of the more mature themes that are found throughout the movie.

Along with some mature thematic elements, most of the humor is pretty morbid.  There is one scene that immediately comes to mind where there is a slapstick comedy bit - with a lifeless corpse.  Although I laughed at that scene and thought there was a good balance between humor and morbidity, I think that this kind of humor might be a little too mature for kids.  It's not that it is too explicit, but rather it's that the content and topic of death might be a little more than what most kids are able to handle.  Plus, there were some scenes that were actually pretty creepy, especially for a kids movie.

However, once your kids are old enough to handle the mature subject matter of death and the occasional creepy scene (and one time where the grandmother calls someone a "jackass"), I highly recommend it!  I loved the stop-motion animation style and the amount of detail that went into it.  In some scenes, you can see reflections in the characters eyes, as you would in real life.  There was some great cinematography, use of color, and light and shadow.  Plus, there were some nice little nods to classic horror movies like Halloween and Friday the 13th.

Rating/Recommendation:  4/5.  I really loved this movie!  The characters were relate-able, lovable, and showed actual character development.  The morals were clear, but there was some ambiguity in who was "bad" and why - which I felt created more depth and complexity.  And the animation and voice-acting really brought these characters to life...even the zombies.

Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!

- The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: Carrie

Carrie (1976)
Netflix instant

Even though I love movies, there are a bunch of classics that I am embarrassed to say that I have never seen before.  Carrie is one of those movies.  Carrie is also one of those movies that everyone knows the plot to.  I seriously cannot remember a time when I did not know what happens at the end of Carrie.  While that does take away some of the surprise of what happens, I still enjoy seeing the how of what happens - what leads up to the dramatic end.  Also, I really want to see the remake because it looks like it is awesome!...and I wanted to see the original before the remake.

Even though everyone knows the plot of Carrie and it is almost 40 years old, let me go ahead and say that there will be some spoilers below.  If you have never seen Carrie and have somehow managed to go 40 years without any hearing any spoilers, scroll to the bottom of the page to see my rating and recommendation.  Otherwise, continue reading.

One of the things that struck me was that Carrie's mother, who played a large part in Carrie's developmental delays, was a religious zealot.  I don't like the fact that the only two characters who show any sense of religion are Carrie and her zealot mother.  It plays on the stereotype that Christians are wackos and not to be trusted.  Unfortunately, there are some people out there who do live up to that stereotype.  But, there are also plenty of people out there who are good examples of what Christians are supposed to be (since I am just focusing on the movie right now, I will not be addressing the theological and philosophical perspectives that go into what actually makes a good Christian).  I wish that Carrie had at least one other character to present some sort of balance.  But, the imbalance and extremism are also literary and filmatic techniques to emphasize dichotomies.  In Carrie, that dichotomy is between the innocent and naive Carrie and the pure evil of Chris Hargensen. The character of Chris might seem like just a bully at the beginning, but the scene where John Travolta's character kills a pig to get the blood they will later dump on Carrie - she seems to get a very sick sense of satisfaction from the brutality.

My biggest complaint is that it felt like more of the movie focused on the plot of what the other girls were planning to do to Carrie, rather than on Carrie's actual story.  Sissy Spacek does a great job, but I would have loved to have seen more of her progression and character development.  To go from abused and tormented under the stairs and living in fear, to standing up to her mother - there was a huge amount of character development that goes largely unseen.

I also have a few smaller complaints.  The music is almost too descriptive.  It's either very clearly calm, psychotic, or confusion, but I don't really hear many themes running through the different pieces of music.  I wish that there had been a more unifying theme throughout all of the music.  Also, the detention scene didn't really seem to fit the tone of the movie.  It felt like the humor was a little too forced in this scene.  I think that it would have been a better fit for movies like Revenge of the Nerds or Porky's.

Rating & recommendation:  3.5.  Carrie is a classic and is required viewing for any fan of horror.  To be such an iconic horror movie though, there isn't any actual horror for the majority of the movie.  If this was the first time that you had ever seen the movie and you had no idea about the iconic prom scene, then the ending of the movie would get seriously creepy pretty quick.  Also, even though there aren't too many deaths that are actually shown, there is the implication that so many high schoolers die a fiery death.  But, the blood and the gore is not why Carrie has become such a classic.  Like many of Stephen King's stories, it is the psychological aspects that really play up the horror.  It might seem like the end scene of Sue having a nightmare is unnecessary.  However, that does what so few horror movies do...it shows some of the psychological trauma that the victims suffer, long after the source of horror has been removed.

Side notes:

• The movie is definitely rated R.  The second scene in the movie is in the girls locker room with lots of full-frontal nudity.  That scene also makes it very clear that the movie is from the 70s.  
• I thought that two of the characters looked familiar - and I was right!  Tommy Ross looked like the Greatest American Hero and one of the background girls looked like the secretary from Ferris Beuler's Day Off - I was right on both accounts.

Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



-The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: House on Haunted Hill

House on Haunted Hill (1959)
Netflix instant

House on Haunted Hill is a classic, so most fans of horror are probably already familiar with the plot (even if they haven't actually seen it).  But, if you haven't seen it, it's about a millionaire that invites five guests to his haunted house.  Anyone who is able to make it through the night will receive $10,000.  Among the five people who were invited, one of them is allegedly the only person who had ever survived a night in the house.

I saw the remake with Geoffrey Rush several years ago, but this is the first time that I had ever seen the original.  It has been several years since I saw the remake, so I can't remember too much about the quality of the film.  I remember thinking that there were some good parts, but I don't remember being terribly impressed with it (if I get a chance to rewatch the remake, I will post my review).

Even though I don't remember the remake being terribly good, I really enjoyed the original.  There is something about classic horror movies that are just plain creepy!  Rather than relying on blood, gore, and cgi to provide the scares, classic movies rely on practical effects and play on more base-level fears that stick with you after the movie is over.  The first time there is a genuine scare in House on Haunted Hill...gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh......it's creepy.  Even though some of the dialogue is presented in a somewhat cheesy manner sometimes, the stories about the ghosts are presented with a level of conviction that draws you into the story.

The biggest downside about this movie is the sound quality.  The dialogue is pretty quiet, so I kept turning up the volume.  But, anytime anyone would scream, it would almost be deafening.  I was constantly turning the volume up and down every few minutes.  It wouldn't have been much of a problem to leave the volume up, if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want my neighbors to get the wrong impression of what was happening in my place.

House on Haunted Hill started out a little slow, but as it goes along, Vincent Price's character becomes increasingly creepy.  His portrayal is one of the biggest factors that helps gives this movie it's scares.

Rating:  3.5/5

Recommendation:  This is a definite watch!  Whether you are just a casual fan of scary movies and only watch them during Halloween, or you are a hardcore horror fan, I think that House on Haunted Hill will help get you ready for Halloween.

Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



-The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: Oasis of the Zombies

Oasis of the Zombies (or The Treasure of the Living Dead) (1982)
Netflix streaming

This movie is listed as Oasis of the Zombies on Netflix, but IMDB lists it as The Treasure of the Living Dead.  Both of those titles sound like they could be campy, cheesy movies that are enjoyable because of how comically bad they are.  Unfortunately, that isn't the case and there isn't all that much more to actually say about this movie.  The film quality is worse than a 70s home movie.  And there is so much zooming in and out that you almost need Dramamine to be able to watch it.  Seriously, just about every other camera angle change starts with slow zoom in. Technical shortcomings aside, this movie is just boring.  The only way that it would be enjoyable to watch is if Mystery Science Theater 3000 had covered it.  But, there are topless scenes, so they would never have been able to show it (even those scenes are boring too).

I wish that I could say more about it, but Oasis of the Zombies was so boring that there isn't even much to say about how bad it was.  If you want to see a movie about Nazi zombies guarding their gold (that's the plot, by the way), then skip Oasis of the Zombies and go straight to Dead Snow (the review of which can be found here).

Rating:  1/5

Recommendation:  Pass.  The only way this movie would be watchable is if and your friends are fans of MST3K and you enjoy getting together to make fun of bad movies.  But even then, it's still pretty boring.

Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here an on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



-The Gargyle

Halloween Movie Month: Grabbers

Grabbers (2012)
Netflix streaming

Grabbers is a delightfully enjoyable Irish horror-comedy about alien squid that can't hold their liquor.  Ok, so there is a bit more to the plot than that.  A small Irish island is being attached by blood-scucking alien squid creatures and the only hope for the townspeople is to get drunk to avoid being eaten, because the alcohol is toxic to the creatures.

Grabbers was a bit of an odd mix for me.  It is definitely a horror-comedy with some good lines and a production value that makes the deaths and the creatures not be distractingly bad cgi.  I really like the use of orchestral music for the soundtrack, but it was a bit too pervasive and in the foreground when I felt like it would have been better served by being in the background.  There was good acting throughout, but the only way you know that the main character is supposed to be a drunkard is because one of the characters keeps saying that he is (rather than a convincing presentation of an inebriated individual).  The grabbers have a definite presence in the film, but in retrospect I feel as though they weren't actually on screen all that much.  You find yourself rooting for the two main characters to get together, but there isn't much to explain the relationship between them.

But despite all of the apparent shortcomings, I still really enjoyed Grabbers!  Maybe it's because it felt like an Irish version of Slither (which I love).  Maybe it's because I've not really seen too many Irish horror movies, so this felt like a relatively new experience for me.  Maybe it's because most horror-comedies go to the extreme of being horrorible, where you watch it because of how ridiculous and/or bad it is, rather than for actual cinematic enjoyment.  Whatever the reason, there is definitely something in the gestalt of the Grabbers that made it a delightfully enjoyable experience overall.

Rating:  3.5/5

Recommendation:   Watch it!  Good production value, good one liners, good cgi, and good acting help Grabbers to be a fun Friday night creature feature.  Although, there is enough swearing in it to make it not be family friendly.  But, if you are sitting down to watch a horror movie (of just about any variety), you probably shouldn't have your kids with you anyways.

Be sure to check back soon for more reviews in Halloween Movie Month!  In the meantime, leave comments on this (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies you'd like for me to review for Halloween Movie Month!



-The Gargyle

Movie Review: Spiders

Spiders (2013)
Netflix streaming
Rating:  1/5

After a long time away, I'm back!  Admittedly, I have not chosen a strong movie on which to return.  I was in the mood for a horrorible movie tonight, so I went with Spiders.  From the look of the cover, I was expecting giant spiders to be swarming the city and eating tanks with general large scale destruction.  At first, I actually thought that it might live up to my horrorible expectations.

Spiders seems to have a strong start with a bunch of spiders crawling around a space station and space debris crashing into a subway station.  Initially, the acting wasn't horrible.  Certainly not Oscar-worthy or anything, but not the worst that I had seen in bad movies.  However, the acting quickly went downhill.  After about 2 minutes, I felt like I was watching a middle school play.  The acting was flat and all of the lines (exposition to terror) were delivered with the same intonation and intensity.

The bad acting would have been excusable if there had been more action, but even that was flat.  The first giant spider doesn't show up until at least 30 minutes in - and the entire movie is only 90 minutes.  For a movie like this, there should be about 10 minutes of setting up the plot, 60 minutes of exploding monsters, and 10 minutes of wrapping up any loose ends.  Instead, Spiders spends a lot of time trying to set up a plot filled with a shifty scientist and military trying to hide the fact that the scientist knows what the spiders are and where they came from.  I don't want a plot...I want giant spiders destroying a city!  The worst part about the plot is that it had absolutely no impact on the outcome!

About halfway through, they stop trying to have a plot and get to more of giant spiders fighting military.  Sounds exciting, right?!!?  Nope.  All of the "action" scenes are basically just the same shot of military shooting at spiders in the street, nothing happening to the spiders, and then spiders boringly eating people.  The only part that approached entertainment was the fact that the spiders growled like drunk jungle cats.

As you can probably assume, my recommendation is to pass.  I love horrorible movies.  And I can usually go into a bad movie with low expectations and still enjoy it for it's ridiculousness.  Unfortunately, Spiders stayed in the "bad movie" category and failed to reach the "so bad, it's good!" level.  It's a movie about giant spiders from space, and I was bored.



Be sure to check back soon for more reviews!  In the meantime, leave comments on this review (or any other) review, follow me here and on twitter (@GargyleReviews), and let me know what movies and shows you'd like for me to review in the future!

-GR